I'm really getting tired of putting nothing but horrible journal entries on here... People might start thinking I'm emo or something... *shudder* If you don't want to hear a rant, just skip over this...

However, I really have to write this, and this is the only place that I can without it coming back to haunt me... I've already had one horrible incident with facebook today, after all...

I really miss her. I can't tell her how lost I am with her no longer in my life, but the void is still there. I can't find the focus to draw with any conviction anymore, which really sucks, because I finally seem to be able to do something half-way decent and I'm losing it slowly to the dark cloud that has been growing in my brain. I can't blame it on her or the separation, but I can't say it's helped, either... I want to do something inspiring, like so many of the people on here that make me go cry in a corner for a few minutes in the back of my mind.

And then there's all the others. I can't seem to find anyone else, and it's beginning to bother me on a deep level. Everyone is taken or simply not interested, which isn't helped by the fact that I don't get a chance to meet new people all that often... Before I even get a chance, I find myself in a perma-friend-zone kind of thing, where I could get out of it if I wanted to, but something is always keeping me from it.

One who everyone was convinced wanted me (I told them it wasn't true) just got engaged, and it hasn't helped my mood lately either... I'm beginning to believe it's my fate to be like this forever...

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End Rant, you can all breathe easy now. I'll try to keep the journals light in the future, hopefully more about actual ART perhaps, but I can't be too sure... Not that it really matters, no one reads this anyway...